So I saw Thor this week…

The plot was pretty meh.  It was like Hercules meets the Lion King with the Norse pantheon.  Overall, it was campy and funny.  The SFX were great.

HOWEVER.

I am sick and tired of these weaksauce romantic subplots.  Thor and Natalie Portman had no chemistry whatsoever.  Natalie Portman turned into a blibbering idiot anytime Thor was around, despite being really freaking competent the rest of the time.  I’m sorry, movie, but I don’t buy it.  You need to spend more time than TWO FREAKING DAYS (was it even that long?!) together to even being to get to know a person, let alone start crushing on them hard enough to be all “OMG I LOVE U ILL COME BACK JUST FOR YOU MY LUVVV. MWAH!”

No, I don’t buy it.

Hollywood, I am tired of these romantic subplots being shoehorned into every movie.  As a lady, I am not interested exclusively in romantic stories, and you do not need them in EVERY SINGLE MOVIE to try to get my lady ass to watch it.

[Disclaimer: I have not read the comics, so I don’t know whatever nuances I’m missing out on Thor and Natalie Portman’s relationship, or even if Natalie Portman was in the comics to begin with.]

ALSO.

If you’re going to make the badass warrior chick wear sleeveless armor, at least make it equal opportunity and show a dude warrior sleeveless, too.  Otherwise, it just reads as shameless, vapid fanservice to me, and it’s pissing me off.  Now I’m going to go read more Women Fighters in Reasonable Armor to cool off and find my happy place.

Alex Heberling

Alex Heberling here. I own the place.