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tehjai:

aliyamirat:

naamahdarling:

setheverman:

tooquirkytolose:

My 26 yr old sister still says things out loud like ā€˜ermagerdā€™ and ā€™___ ALL the things!ā€™ Likeā€¦is that whatā€™s gonna happen to me?am I going to be 30 still saying stupid shit like O shit waddup! Are all the youngins gonna be embarrassed by my use of outdated memesā€¦.how long until I myself am not Hip With Itā€¦.how long until I am no longer a trendy memerā€¦

my greatest fear honestly

Listen, I am 40. Ā I was around for the early internet of webrings and hamsterdance. Homestarrunner.Ā  Those little cats in the boat singing to Immigrant Song.Ā  Longcat. Ā Ceiling cat. Ā Radiskull.Ā  Powerthirst.

So to me anything that is funny on the internet is, and always will be, cutting-edge and hilarious.Ā  If itā€™s funny the first time, itā€™s funny the eleven thousandth time.Ā  No exceptions.

I accumulate memes. Social media sites form actual strata in my soul, revealing my geological age in layers: Geocities, Myspace, Livejournal, Tumblr. Ā Memes encrust me, like jewels, just layer on layer of reaction gifs and shitposts, some of which I barely understand, but I refuse to let go of. Ā I cling to them, they are ever-relevant, undying.

You callow youths, who think in your innocence that that memes come and go, you are tepid fools who still smell of milk.

I am where memes go to die. I am where memes go to live eternal.

Someday, if you are lucky, you will join me.Ā  Bring your breadsticks meme, your Spiders Georg, your Bode, your big mood, your Supernatural gifs, your oh worm.Ā  Come with me and rejoice in pointless in-jokes and long-forgotten references.Ā  Embrace your encyclopedic knowledge of comedy sites ca 2006 and come share the knowledge with us. Come with me and lik the bred.Ā Ā 

You gotta.

ā€œYou callow youths, who think in your innocence that that memes come and go, you are tepid fools who still smell of milk.ā€

Put this on my headstone, underneath a picture of Ceiling Cat.

all your base are belong to us

old memes are the way to go. one person on the other side of the room gets it and your eyes meet, a knowing nod exchanged. you remember. you were there.

you lost the game.

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tinker-tanner:

whyisthisfrenchguymasturbating:

edvardgrieg-official:

neurophonic:

weloveshortvideos:

x

what on earth

please if you do anything useful in your life, donā€™t scroll past this

watch it

PLEASE

tchaikovsky is proud

In case anyone is baffled by this, thereā€™s a Tchaikovsky piece in which thereā€™s supposed to be a loud sound but he never specified what you should use to make that sound. People have done all kinds of weird shit depending on how they think the sound should, well, sound. Hitting a large piece of wood with a sledgehammer is a relatively conventional one.

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emospritelet:

31-rabbits:

aliensnipe:

What if there were womenā€™s cleanliness products that were marketed the way Old Spice stuff is? Like they had names like ā€œLionessā€ and ā€œSycamoreā€ and ā€œWildfireā€ and ā€œHunterā€™s Moonā€ and they were touted as making you smell like a warrior queen who does not suffer fools and conquers all she beholds

HELLO LADIES

have you felt the primal call of the unmerciful sea calling you to strike down those who would defy you? no? well if you stopped using overpriced flower-scented body wash and switched to SEA HAG, you might.Ā 

look down.

back up. where are you? youā€™re a siren, bare-breasted and shrieking as you lure the unwary to their doom on the rocks below. and you smell amazing.Ā 

whatā€™s in your hand? back at me. itā€™s a vial of skin-nourishing ingredients, derived from the seaweed you used to strangle a hated foe. it does wonders for your skin tone and resilience, and we all can agree that we will need that resilience in the coming war.

look again: the seaweed is now a formal apology from the last man who unnecessarily tried to explain something to you.

anything is possible when you smell like a vengeful sea witch and embrace your own rage. iā€™m on a narwhal.Ā 

Fucking sign me up, Iā€™m a sea hag and proud