boring & disrespectful: “oh, i can’t survive without my morning coffee”, “energy drink makes it so that i can get through my boring work”, and so on
living properly: treating caffeinated beverages like very mysterious & powerful magical potions that can give us unforeseen abilities
drink 15 cups of coffee in a day and you can clip through walls
me, approaching my local barista with trepidation and awe: potion seller. I am going into battle and I require your strongest potion.
potion seller: trenta macchiato plus five shots as usual, then?
me, extending my credit card with a trembling hand: fuck me up
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