So this video started going around my facebook today, with about a dozen of my female friends sharing the link with comments like, and “Everyone needs to see this”, and “All girls should watch this,” and “This made me cry.” And I’m not trying to shame those girls! I definitely understand why they would do so. And I don’t want to be a killjoy. But as I clicked link and started watching the video, I started to feel a slight sense of discomfort. I couldn’t put my finger on why that was, exactly, but it continued throughout the whole thing. After watching the video several more times, I have some thoughts…Â
I agree with a lot of this assessment. When I saw the images in the campaign, it was without context and I thought it was an example of how witness testimony is unreliable when it comes to sketch artist representations (maybe still a valid point). But when I saw later it was about how women describe themselves as “uglier” than other people see them, I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe some of these women describing themselves weren’t being harsh on themselves, but describing wrinkles they actually had and just weren’t ashamed of them while people describing them are being more polite. Seeing some of the photos of the actual women, they look more or less right in between how they described themselves and how other people described them. I wouldn’t call their self descriptions ugly, and I think to do so… just reinforces the beauty standard.
People draw me a lot. I love it. It’s lots of fun. But some people draw me thinner than I am, they take away the moles, the creases and lines of my face, the length of my nose. And some of it is just a style that simplifies things, but I know some of it is fear of offending me by drawing me with what they see as negative qualities but what I see as part of my face. It makes me sad sometimes that people think they’re going to offend me by portraying me… looking how I actually look. Never be afraid to draw every single line in my face, every single roll of fat, small boobs, occasional double chin, moley moley moley skin, all of that stuff, because it’s gorgeous to me. I don’t need Dove telling me I’m being harsh on myself when I feel more free than I’ve ever felt.
Why Dove’s “Real Beauty Sketches” Video Makes Me Uncomfortable… and Kind of Makes Me Angry
